Closer Productions would like to advise of the company's temporary relocation to an alternate dimension.
Resident Closer scientist Raynor Pettge's recent attempts to upgrade the company's RAID system using quantum harddrives and select dark matter components resulted in the creation of a temporary singularity. The subsequent blackhole bent time and space and teleported the edit suites, accounting department and the chairs from the production office into the "fifteenth dimension" (named by Closer director Matthew Bate after Taylor Swift's hit 2008 single).
"I was just trying to reduce the amount of time it took us to compress corporate videos for upload to YouTube," Pettge said in a statement. "I probably shoulda just gone to Officeworks. Drive are pretty cheap there."
Until a way out of the dimension can be ascertained, please forward all correspondence to "firstname.lastname@example.org."
Note that, due to time dilation, it could take upwards of 72,000 years to receive a response.